


The Seattle Mistake

by zsomeone



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:44:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3508787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://tikistitch.tumblr.com/tagged/where%27s-the-angel">Based on Tiki's funko pop adventures here</a>, spoilers for the S9 finale</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Seattle Mistake

Dean was staring at the largest rainbow slinky in existence. It was nearly twice his height. And so was everything else. “Sammy?!”

“Over here! Dean, is that you? What’s happened to us?” They faced each other, a pair of small plastic dolls with enormous heads.

A voice from above answered instead. “As far as I can determine, we’re been thrust into a parallel universe where we are small plastic toys. I was trapped in Heaven a moment ago. I have, of course, been a plastic toy before, but I don’t know who is responsible this time.” It was Cas, or at least one of them was Cas. Well, one of them was actually Cas, but there were several copies of the same toy in various hats, and they had no idea which one actually spoke because none of their mouths moved.

Then the one in the sock monkey had hopped down to join them.

“Cas, why are you wearing a monkey hat?” Dean wanted to know.

“I don’t know, I harbor no animosity toward simians. Why does Sam have antlers?” 

Sam attempted to reach up and check, but was unable to do that. “Hey, my arms don’t move! How am I supposed to stab anything, just hope it trips and falls on my knife?” There were a LOT of other similar dolls in this room, wherever they were. What if they were evil? “Do you think any of these others are alive, or is it just us?”

Cas would have squinted if his blank, painted eyes could. “I don’t sense that they are.”

There was a laptop on the... counter, table, desk, wherever the fuck they currently were. Sam hopped over to it, then started hopping around on the keys to type. Photos of them, or at least of the dolls they were currently residing in, popped up. “So get this, this Tiki lady has a whole set of adventures starring us.” He hopped around some more, navigating. “Dean? She seems to think you’re a demon. Why would she think that?”

“Beats me. The last thing I remember is getting killed by that douchebag Metatron, so I don’t even know how I’m here. We’ve been to Heaven before, and this ain’t Heaven.”

“Heaven is still closed anyway,” Cas helpfully added. “I have no idea how I’m here either.”

“Keep looking, Sammy! We need to figure out who’s responsible this time! Gabriel’s dead-“

“He might not be,” Cas interrupted. “I spent some time with him recently, but I don’t know if it was actually him or not. It’s complicated. He came out of a porno, and then we drove to a gas station and I stabbed him.”

Both Winchesters were staring at him with their unreadably blank doll expressions.

“It’s probably nothing, we should assume he’s dead. And Metarton is in jail, that I know for certain.”

“Okay,” Dean continued, “who else could have done this?”

“Crowley?” Sam guessed, still hopping around the keyboard, scrolling through more posts as they watched.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have the juice. Maybe this Tiki lady is a witch.”

Just then something huge walked by, and they all froze.

“Oh great, attack of the fifty foot woman,” Dean muttered as she passed out of sight.

“I understood that reference.” The didn’t look at him. “Wookie.”

“What?” Dean was looking at him now.

“Turn around, Dean, I can’t point. That is a Wookie.”

“Oh.” And indeed it was. Now that they noticed, there were an awful lot of Star Wars type things all around.

Sam ignored them all, still playing hopscotch on the keyboard due to being tiny and not having movable arms. “There’s multiple versions of all of us. Look Dean, you come in shiny and blood splattered. And of course, the weird Cas collection up there. This Cas, or maybe one of the others, I can’t tell, seems to be addicted to choc’lit.”

“I believe the proper pronunciation is ‘chocolate’, Sam,” Cas corrected.

“I know, I’m just reading what she wrote. And Dean, she’s really convinced you’re a demon. Is there something you want to tell us?”

“Not until next season. I mean no, I have no idea what you’re talking about!” He turned around. “Why are there so many devil’s traps in here anyway? That’s not necessary!”

Then Tiki walked in, picked up Castiel, and shoved him in her purse.

“CAS!” Dean yelled after him as they exited the room.

“Keep working on getting us back!” Cas managed to yell in reply before they were out the door and gone.

“Sammy, you gotta figure this out! We’re counting on you!” Dean turned back to watch the laptop screen.

“Are you SURE you’re not a demon, Dean?”

“Do I look like a friggin’ demon?!”

“Actually yeah, all these toys have black eyes. I’m sure I do too.”

“You do, so stow the demon crap!” Dean groaned, “I need a drink. This must be Hell.”

Sam scowled. “It’s not Hell, we’ve both been there. Or Purgatory, or Heaven. This is just... Tiki’s house, full of Star Wars crap. Do you have any idea how much some of this would go for on ebay?”

“General idea, yeah.” Out of boredom, Dean hopped over to a Loki doll and knocked it over. “That’s for killing me all those times I don’t remember! Or Gabriel pretending to be you, close enough. You’re just plastic anyway.”

“Are you done fighting with toys? I think I’ve got something.” Sam would have been doing a serious face if he was currently capable of expressions.

“Yeah, I’m good. Whatcha got?”

“Another website, but it looks legit. I just have to recite this spell, and we should be back home. I have no idea what language this is, but I’ll try.”

“Wait, Sammy! What about Cas?” They couldn’t leave Cas stuck here! “Shouldn’t we wait til he’s back?”

“Dean, I don’ think it’ll matter. He was in Heaven when he got pulled here, I’m sure he’ll go back when we do. Just let me try to read this okay?”

“Alright, Sam! Just read it! I hope this friggin’ works!”

“Regit eht fo eye eht sti   
Thgif eht fo llirht eht sti  
Lavir ruo fo egnellahc eht ot pu gnisir  
Rouvivrus nwonk tsal eht dna  
Thgin eht ni yerp sih sklats  
Regit eht fo eye eht htiw lla su gnihctaw seh dna”

~

Sam was in the bunker, alone. Staring into an empty glass of whiskey.

The end.


End file.
